I'm going on a mission to regain the IQ points I've lost.

See you maggots in two weeks. :D

I know there are a lot of these and I decided to make my own, seeing as it's the only thing I can think of that I haven't done this summer. So god damn bored. Anyways:

90 things I learned from the internet:
1) - Google Images is not a safe for work place to find pictures of George Washington for that school report of yours.

2) - Caps lock may be the cruise control for cool, but you still have to steer. *

3) - In an argument, all of your opponent's opinions are facts and all of your facts are opinions.

4) - Typos are justifiable reasons why your argument is null and void.

5) - America sucks.

6) - Everything is George Bush's fault, even the broken faucet on your kitchen sink.

7) - The UK sucks.

8) - Everybody has a folder on their hard drive filled with obscure fetish porn, even if they don't have said fetish.

9) - Canada sucks

10) - Girls do not takes shits.

11) - Your religion is wrong and my religion is right.

12) - All porn contains viruses. Period.

13) - Every rape victim has large boobs and the practiced and perfected ability to talk fluently in the second and third person.

14) - The word "arse" is approximately 3.4 times grander of a word than "ass."

15) - That five year old web cam picture of your left big toe is an excellent base pic for a photoshop thread.

16) - Rap sucks.

17) - Anarchy is a reasonable, manageable, and logical system of government.

18) - Rock sucks.

19) - Posting stories of the fights you've been in makes you hard core.

20) - Ska sucks.

21) - Inviting everyone on your contact list to an MSN convo will make you a liked and appreciated friend.

22) - Industrial sucks.

23) - Spamming the n word makes you hard core.

24) - Techno sucks.

25) - What Osama Bin Ladan and Madeline have in common is that we can't find either of them.

26) - Country sucks.

27) - Repeating the same overused joke over and over again will make you the coolest kid on the block. See: 25

28) - Metal sucks.

29) - Everyone in Africa has AIDS.

30) - Classical sucks.

31) - Ruining someone's life is an effective way to have a few laughs. See: KemCab/Dragon'sGrief.

32) - Grunge sucks.

33) - Girls who post pictures of themselves anywhere online will be instantly worshiped. No exceptions.

34) - Blues sucks.

35) - Claiming that something popular is bad/overrated is an easy way to be hard core.

36) - Trolling is an excellent way to raise your self esteem.

37) - Ranting will fix the problem. No exceptions.

38) - My giant wall of text is something you are expected to read.

39) - If your thread about comparing the lengths of other users' penises gets deleted, it means that the mods are nothing but a group of imbecile sadists who should all be bludgeoned to death by the nearest blunt object.

40) - Sucking cock will get you far.

41) - MySpace was not originally created for bands, but rather for 16 year old girls to post naked pictures of themselves for attention.

42) - Writing fanfiction is cool and totally socially acceptable. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a close minded faggot. See: DeviantART

43) - The rapist/dominant always has brown or black hair. No exceptions, unless they're British.

44) - Everything from Fox News is a lie.

45) - If one part of a site is bad, the rest of it is.

46) - In sex, the woman are always beautiful and the men are always hairy, unless they're submissive.

47) - Everyone who sets their age at 13 is actually under 11, even if they have proof. It's photoshopped, no exceptions.

48) - Chakra is originally from Naruto.

49) - Sex is always amazing and all it's hyped up to be.

50) - There's no such thing as a hypocrite, only a conditional believer.

51) - Anyone who is religious is obviously delusional.

52) - Anyone who is an Atheist is obviously delusional.

53) - Bumping a four month old, twenty page thread is obviously better than starting a new discussion.

54) - Every new user is an alt.

55) - The joke "I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die" originated from South Park.

56) - When it comes to music, opinion is fact.

57) - Everyone who doesn't find gigantic boobs attractive is gay.

58) - There is no such thing as being bisexual.

59) - A long, boring, repetitive opening post is better than a short, discussion enticing opening post.

60) - Jokes about sex are always funny. No exceptions.

61) - Bashing Dane Cook is still edgy.

62) - Making fun of Michael Jackson is still funny, even though he was proven innocent.

63) - People who watch hentai are bigger losers than people who watch real porn.

64) - Everything on limewire's video search is child porn.

65) - You will one day fuck a porn star if you masturbate to them long enough.

66) - Anyone who asks for advice is emo.

67) - Every meme originates from /b/

68) - Sometimes on a nice sunny day, you can walk down the street and find two lesbians having sex.

69) - It is appropriate to giggle every time someone mentions the number 69.

70) - All Japanese women dress in skimpy school girl uniforms.

71) - Every female cop is a trained and practiced dominatrix.

72) - Nobody likes the French.

73) - Rammstein actually does have talent, you're just not open minded enough to notice.

74) - Everyone lives in your time zone.

75) - Having a soul makes you a pussy.

76) - Every pedophile acts on their desires.

77) - Everyone's opinion makes sense, especially 9/11 conspirators.

78) - There is no such thing as having too big of a penis, even though it's more likely than not to hurt the woman.

79) - Attractive female twins are always into incest.

80) - Women are always surprised that their boyfriends have penises when they take off their pants.

81) - Macs are better than PC's

82) - The only thing you can make with MSPaint is stick figures. No exceptions.

83) - PC's are better than Macs.

84) - Bitmapping is a short cut to a great flash.

85) - Talking really fast into a mic is cruise control for comedy.

86) - The art in parody flashes can never be better than the flash they're parodying.

87) - Reading is for losers.

88) - Anyone who downs a bottle of Tylenol and then spends three hours in the emergency room chugging charcoal is automatically hard core.

89) - Mentioning that you have a girlfriend or that you have had sex automatically makes you a liar, unless you're over level 32.

90) - The outside is a dangerous place.

*courtesy of Seth

Screenshot of a flash I'm working on.

I'll be updating this whenever I feel like it.

Screenshot 3

Yeah, I know it's been two months. Anyways, in celebration of my 10,000th post, here's Pet part six. :3

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V

Amanda stared at John as he broke away from the kiss. She felt so vulnerable, so helpless, and so weak under him but at the same time, she had never been more aroused in her life. He was right, after all. Her feeble attempt at a resistance surpassed pathetic by a long shot.

She closed her eyes as John ran his fingers down her arms to her breasts.

"I wonder..." John laughed and looked at her with lustful eyes, intoxicated with arousal and enchanted by her submission. His fingers pinched her nipples and he twisted them harshly. Amanda screamed and John smiled.

"P-please... don't hurt me..." Amanda whimpered weakly.

"Why? You like it so much." John ran his hand over the scratches on her legs to enforce his point. Finding his victory, I doubt he was expecting an answer.

Amanda was speechless as she let his words sink in. Maybe she was as much of a pain slut as both John and Clara assumed her to be. Maybe she really did want this enough to make the sacrifice. Maybe...

Amanda was torn from her contemplation as she felt another jolting shock of pain from her nipples. She let out a cry that was both a scream of pain and a moan of pleasure. She could feel the wetness in between her legs and the arousal that her pain and her humiliation brought her to, and she let out a humiliated whimper at her body's betrayal.

"Tell me that you like it, because I know you do." The smile on John's face hadn't faded.

Try as she might, Amanda couldn't bring herself to admit to this man that she enjoyed the pain and humiliation that he inflicted on her. He was a stranger and she should have fought back.

"Come on, now. Stop hiding from what you are. Give in, submit to your desires. You know that you're nothing but a pain slut. Say it."

"I..."

"Say it! Tell me that you like it when I hurt you."

"I... I like it when you... when you hurt me. Please... please hurt me again."

"That's it." John gave her nipples a third twist. She could feel the ripples of pain and pleasure running through her, her disgust at herself replaced by a new kind of lust. It was a lust to make her fantasies a reality and it was something more. Whether she could admit it then or not, she knew that she wanted to serve us and she knew that as she accepted herself and her desires, her life was going to change forever.

John brought his face down to Amanda's and ran his tongue lightly over her lips. "So lovely, isn't it? Lovely, to be used..."

The door creaked open softly and Clara walked in. "John, heel." She ordered calmly and then proceeded to leave again, John following quickly after on his knees behind her.

She shut the door without another word, leaving Amanda to her silent contemplation.

Amanda wanted a lot of things: she wanted to be in her bed at home reading her favorite book and she wanted to be able to look at her friends and coworkers straight in the eye and not have to worry about them finding out who she really was. But over all, what she wanted the most was an explanation of what exactly was going on both in her world and in her head. She had no grasp or understanding on the world she'd been drawn into, besides her own fantasies and whatever she'd read on the internet a few years ago when she first found out about her fantasies.

And most of that she'd tried to forget out of guilt.

She thought about how John had crawled out of the room after Clara like it was nothing out of the ordinary and about how she had so easily fallen under him.

There was also Clara. Clara infuriated her with her arrogance, knowledge, and constant confidence that she was doing the right thing. However, at the same time, that's part of what Amanda found most arousing about her. She loved how every action of Clara's made her feel like a subordinate and she didn't want to let go of that.

Amanda looked up at me as I opened the door and walked in. "Get on your hands and knees." I ordered, walking over to her. Amanda complied.

"Here's what's going to happen." I said calmly. "Me and Clara are having a little get together with some of our friends and you're going to be our entertainment." Amanda looked up at me with a mixture of shock and horror.

"That's right. You're going to flaunt that slut cunt of yours for a whole crowd." I laughed.

. . .

It was 7:00 pm and the guests had all arrived. There were seven of us, including me and Clara. We were all seated in the living room. Amanda stood by the doorway to the kitchen with her head down, apparently appreciating that at the moment, she was being ignored. The group hadn't taken notice of her yet.

I recognized this and decided that it was time to introduce her. "Amanda, come suck me off."

Amanda lifted her head quickly, stared at me for a few seconds, and then dropped to her knees. She crawled over to me, keeping her head down. Previously, I had explained to her what would be expected of her and gave her rather detailed reasons as to why irking me would be a bad idea.

I unzipped my pants and she took my dick in her hands. Reluctantly, she took its head in her mouth and began to lick it. That fact that she was completely naked did nothing to relieve her humiliation.

Sarah, a friend of Clara's, walked up behind Amanda and ran her hand down her side and over her ass, eventually ending up in between her legs with her fingers sticking inside Amanda's cunt.

Amanda whimpered and Sarah laughed. "Tight, this one. I wonder how good she is at deepthroat."

"Lets find out." I grabbed Amanda's hair and thrusted myself into her. She gagged and tried to pull away, but she was helpless to stop me. As I reached orgasm, I came inside her mouth.

"Swallow it all, bitch." Clara smiled.

Amanda gagged again as she swallowed my cum, hanging her head.

"Amanda Goodwin? Is that really you?" A reddish-brown haired woman stood up to get a closer look.

Amanda turned around. "Oh God..." Amanda stared at Michelle, the accountant that had ridden the elevator with her the other day.

"It is you. Oh, look at this." Michelle stuck her fingers inside Amanda's dripping pussy. "Being a slave makes little Amanda all wet. Who would have guessed that a stuck up bitch like you would be such a slut deep inside?"

Michelle smiled. "Lift that ass up, slave." Amanda obeyed shamefully, but without hesitation. "You know, you haven't been very polite to me lately. I think that deserves some punishment. Don't you, James?" She looked at a man sitting behind her with short blonde hair.

"Oh, definitely." He stood up, took off his belt and handed it to her. "Here, use this."

Amanda let out a whimper as Michelle struck her with the belt. As she was hit again and again, her cries grew louder.

"Hit her harder. I want to see that slut cry."

"I like your thinking." Michelle hit her harder and harder with each blow. Amanda's cries did nothing in her favor.

"Please stop! Please..." Amanda cried.

"Shut up and take it." Clara ordered.

"Yes, Mistress." Amanda sobbed.

:3 .

After a month and a half, I'm finally writing Pet part six. Go me. :3

I once again feel like it's time for another questions blog.

Ask anything about anything. Can be either serious or not so. I'll do my best to answer.

Annndd, go.

Say anything.

Spill your heart and soul to dear ole IFUN.

Thimbles has a penis.

I win.

Seriously, I remember the days when I could come on here and find 20 or more threads a day that I'd want to post in. I would actually look forward to coming on and finding out what people are talking about. It was fun and worth my while to be here.

Now, I can't say so much. Throughout the day, I find myself only finding maybe 5 good threads and that's on a good day. I'm finding myself only coming back here to pass time.

I mean, I'll come back to watch some flash or play games, but to the forums? I miss the days when I could come and enjoy the forums and also, I miss the days when I could actually say that I was proud to be here.

Honestly, I don't know whether it's you guys getting stupider or whether it's just me growing up, but I just don't find you guys to be funny anymore. All I find are overused memes, shitty photoshop threads, and unfunny sexual jokes. Seriously people, find some God dammed originality. Just because one person said it and you thought it was funny does not mean that it will be funny if you say it.

This isn't a goodbye announcement, but rather just an expression of how I'm just sick of not being able to enjoy my visits here. I'm beginning to come here less and less. I don't want to leave because this is the community that I've grown up with for the past almost two years and I'm trying to hang in there, but if things don't get better (or if they get worse), I'll definitely consider it.

Grow up, guys.