I am repenting my sins and becoming a good Christian

I promise to follow the path of Christ.

I promise to become a good Catholic and follow the straight and narrow path, repenting my lusts for my own sex and my deviant sadomasochistic nature.

I promise to refute my acceptance of those who disobey god.

I promise to be an obedient, loyal servant of the good lord.

I am asking God's forgiveness for all the sins I hath committed and so thus forth I shall work to achieve the honor of ascending to heaven to meet the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

Amen.

Comments

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Rad 2009-04-04 23:04:00

So...You're not fun anymore?

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-04 23:04:00

Frivolous fun is against God's will.

I am a soldier of God.

Therefore, I am a soldier against fun.

Rad 2009-04-04 23:08:14

Doesn't that mean you can't talk to us? I'm pretty sure being on NG is ungodly.

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-04 23:08:14

I am a soldier of God.

I come to this site to spread God's word.

Drugged 2009-04-04 23:10:21

Lol, Christians.

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-04 23:10:21

Indeed.

Onepiece285 2009-04-04 23:11:18

You're honestly not serious.

How can you give up masochism and sex?

3'=

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-04 23:11:18

All Catholics are masochists, silly.

Rad 2009-04-04 23:11:38

Oh, be sure to start on the Newgrounds Gay/bisexual Users Club then. :D

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-04 23:11:38

That was my plan.

EvilerBowser1001 2009-04-04 23:13:07

Amen, sister.

Enjoy the benefits of being Catholic.
You'll find out what those are soon enough...

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-04 23:13:07

Indeed, indeed.

God will reward me for my good deeds.

stpehne 2009-04-04 23:16:35

*hisses at you, and then runs away*

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-04 23:16:35

Heathen.

SupraAddict 2009-04-04 23:18:02

Thou shall not sell herself in front of the eyes of the lord, unless thou donneth thy herion to Me.

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-04 23:18:02

No. I am a soldier of God and soldiers, just like in Vietnam, need their heroin.

igott 2009-04-04 23:28:58

<a href="http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/savetheBBS">http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions /savetheBBS</a>

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-04 23:28:58

The BBS is a sinner's paradise.

It either needs to be cleansed or removed to remove the temptation to indulge in heretic and deviant conversation.

KurtWilder2027 2009-04-04 23:31:50

God dammit, we lost another... Just kidding dude, good for you.

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-04 23:31:50

God gained another soldier for his army of salvation.

MrExtrodinaryOddness 2009-04-05 02:03:45

Hey could you make me a banner? I heard youre really great at it ....Um if you can thanks..so i want it to say " I 0wns Yu >:]" with a all black backround..... and green neon letters..plz. My email is.. RumbleFighter1@yahoo.com or my user name is no..duh..

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-05 02:03:45

Will do.

I'll pm you.

Kenshi 2009-04-05 02:43:33

Katie. :(

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-05 02:43:33

I no longer use that name.

My new, godly name is Abraham in honor of Abraham who sits at the right hand of the father.

Diivizzle 2009-04-05 10:49:39

Is it just me, or is this timed EXACTLY on Palm Sunday?

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-05 10:49:39

One hour before, to be exact.

I'm ahead of the game.

Onepiece285 2009-04-05 13:05:27

This is going to be real strange for the next few days...

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-05 13:05:27

God will help you through your darkest, strangest hours.

Just have faith.

AniMetal 2009-04-05 14:31:24

Lol Christians. :3

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-05 14:31:24

The power of Christ compels you.

Proottalfain 2009-04-05 15:23:11

Our father, that is in the skies
Your name be sanctified
Your will comes on earth like in the sky
And other things I can't remember.

Freely translated from French.

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-05 15:23:11

Amen, amen.

Proottalfain 2009-04-05 15:23:30

Because French is closer to latin, thus closer to God.

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-05 15:23:30

You are a good and wise man.

God's peace to you.

Drugged 2009-04-05 15:26:49

The power of Satan compels you.

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-05 15:26:49

Satan is my sexual servant.

In the name of the Lord.

Rad 2009-04-05 20:42:19

I laugh at everyone freaking out about not being able to suck your cock now.

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-05 20:42:19

Indeed, indeed.

Heathens.

Rad 2009-04-05 20:43:23

I NEED MY DAILY DOSE OF IFUN, PLEASE GOTTA GET MAH FIX!

InsertFunnyUserName 2009-04-05 20:43:23

ADDICTION IS A SIN, BOI

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