3/5
The main problem I see with this is that I feel like it goes by way too quick, and not just that it's not finished. Each of the parts, I think, could be longer so that the builds up with more suspense.
The song builds up well, from the quiet intro to the drums coming in, to the guitar (or guitar-esque sounding instrument, it's hard to tell whether it's guitar or synth, which isn't a problem) and then the end.
But, on the topic of drums, I'm not so sure about the rhythm that you have. I can't put my finger on what exactly is bothering me about it, but it just doesn't seem like it fits with the feel and the rhythm of the melody(s). Maybe keep just the kick drum and add some cymbals? I don't know, I'm no drummer, but mess around with it.
However, I do like your melodies, especially the guitar (or guitar-esque sounding instrument) part.
[Review Request Club]