There's potential here.
The animation was good overall. There were a few points where the linework was shaky and where some of the movements looked stiff, but I don't have any other complaints in that regard. You did a good job varying up the camera angle.
I think my biggest issue with this is that the lighthearted presentation and execution don't feel as though they match the more serious nature of the plot. It feels like it's consistently hovering in the void between comedy and drama, never touching one or the other. For example, I'm not sure whether the second scene is supposed to be climactic and suspenseful or playful and comedic.
Utilizing lighting and music can help a lot with this because it can drastically affects the mood. If you need music, than the audio portal is a great resource. If you don't find a song there that works, you can always ask around to see if there's a musician who will collaborate with you. In terms of lighting, using more contrast and darker, less saturated colors will help show that a scene is supposed to be more serious whereas using saturated, bright colors will make the scene look happier and more playful.
Just a voice recording tip: when you're recording, it's better to be further back from the mic and speaking louder than close to the mic. When you're too close, the mic picks up the sound of the air coming out from speaking, which makes the recording muddy, as it is here. Also, be conscious of how quickly you're speaking. It's easy to speak more quickly than you think you are, so when recording, speak a little slower than you think you should. This will help prevent the dialog from whizzing by.
It's also not advised to try and do all of the voices yourself, especially if the characters are a different gender. There's a number of voice actors here on NG who will collaborate with you. Granted, the voice of the main character did fit him, so that was good.
The dialog could use some improvement, too. It hurts the quality of any kind of writing when you say too many things in a matter-of-fact way. It's better to imply things because otherwise, it'll feel like you're stating the obvious and giving superfluous explanation of the scene. For instance, there's no reason for the character to say he finds it strange that the rabbit is talking to him because his reaction when the rabbit starts speaking gets that across enough. Along those lines, make sure you don't say the same thing twice, like when the boy says he doesn't like to lie and then the rabbit asserts that the boy lied. You could get across his reluctance to lie through facial expressions and timing, but also, you don't need to state that he lied both before and after the orb glows. You might not even need to say it all if you get across the impression of a lie in the boy's manner of speaking. The orb will put the pieces together for you.
I like the plot overall. I think it could turn out to be an interesting story. It's just that the execution could use some work.
Thanks alot. Now this is a good piece of advice. ^^
I love all of the wacky images that you use to get across the idea of a coffee high. The absurdity of the things, the exaggerated movement, the vibrant colors and the rapid pace of the flash all got that feeling across nicely. I like how all of the changes happened so fluidly at times, though I wish you had done that for all of the scene/object/etc changes.
I don't think that I've fond of the shakiness, though. At times it seemed to fit well stylistically, but at others it didn't, particularly when the objects were still. At those points it seemed like it was a mistake. Maybe it was. Regardless, consider both thinning down your lines and making them more consistent.
There are a few points where I really loved the anticipation that you put in, like when he was swinging his arms.
Lastly, the lip syncing was shaky. It seemed like you put too much detail into the movements of the lips, making them jumpy and overcomplicated.
Thanks for your long (and helpful) review,
I did the shaking on purpose, but what really grinds my balls is that you've only got that shitty brush tool in flash to draw thicker lines and it FUCKS EVERYTHING UP... which is very annoying.
I know, the lip sync isn't perfect, but since the movie is only 12fps it is very hard to get the right shape for everything...
I like the story and I smiled at the duck. It is a bit short, but I don't feel like that's a problem. I feel like the length suits the content. I have some concrit, though.
Are you using onion skins? Especially on the hands and when the camera is moving up from his feet to his head (but many other places as well), your lines are jumpy. Thick, also. Try using a smaller brush or the pencil tool because the thick lines didn't flatter it well. Make sure to keep unwanted fluctuations out of your lines, as well. Clean them up, that is. It'll make the linework look more polished and it will also help with the jumpiness problem.
Try a higher framerate because the animation was choppy.
You did have a few nice perspective shots in there, like the hand shot for example, but speaking of perspective, there are some issues, particularly with that last shot with the building in it.
I thank you for your review, the choppy-ness of the lines where intended. That was the style i was going for.
Relaxing and addicting
There's a lot about this game that I like. The graphics, for one, are pleasing to look at. The music, as well, both fits the mood of the game and is something that doesn't get irritating after a while even though it's a loop.
The gameplay was good. The character's movement never lagged and the controls were both manageable and not overly forgiving, which provided a challenge that wasn't too frustrating (i.e. one where, if I fail, it's not the controls' fault). It was good to have a keyboard command for the medals.
Speaking of medals, I like how there were so many of them (related: it was nice to have such a variety of sapling formations to chase after) and that you included the necessity to refrain from using too many power-ups. Whereas a lot of collecting games load you up with so many power-ups that all the challenge is gone, you did it right.
There's also a lot of replay value.
However, I do have some complaints. Although it is good that there aren't always formations filling up the entire screen and although it's good that the game required me to seek out the ones that I needed for the medals instead of having them all right there, I found that some of the formations appeared too scarcely. For example, whereas the Orion pieces were almost always around, I could go several minutes without seeing a single Twister. This became a problem because in order to get the larger storm formations, I had to get either a twister or a tornado (which were even more scarce). To add on to that, they often moved faster than I could move, which isn't inherently bad as it added challenge, but the problem is that when I finally did manage to make a tempest or a hurricane appear, I would only be able to free it half the time. So, I was only able to get maybe a tenth of the hurricane vindicator medal before giving up. This is all mostly pertinent to the medals where you can't use power-ups.
A tiny detail that's not really important (but you still may want to fix) is that the Tempest Vindicator medal just says "powerups" when I assume it's supposed to say "Free x tempests without the use of powerups." Just a small thing.
Also, the last two sapling collection medals (i.e. the two after Venture Capitalist. I'm assuming those are also total collection medals) seem like I would have to play for a ridiculous amount of time to get them. Thus, they seem somewhat unnecessary.
Overall, it was a fun and addicting game. I favorited and racked up several hours of game play.
The humor made it.
You don't often see interactive live action flashes here, so it's something refreshingly unique in that aspect. The combination of the cartoon-like drawings and the live action images/videos added to the humor, I think. I like how you represented the building being on fire by only using little flame images.
The storyline is also hilariously absurd. I liked the brain in the microwave and how in the first minigame, they were being chased by a cascade of water bottles. This all made it interminably amusing.
The actual gameplay could be improved some. In the shooting scene, I think it would be better, instead of the zombies all coming out of the same exact spot within each wave, if you varied where they popped out. As it is, all you have to do is hold your cursor in the same spot and fire.
The point and click scene didn't seem logical at all. I know that this isn't a very logical plot to start with, so that's understandable, but it just felt like I was clicking everywhere until something happened. Even if it's something absurd, I recommend making it more of a puzzle instead of simply how many places you can find until the car shows up.
Overall, it's a funny game and I enjoyed it.
Yes, the true is that we are like the vanguard of live action games like this one, so we are just testing how to play this, but we will do it better and better in future,
thanks a lot for reviewing :)
Overall, it's a good game. The large map is good and so is the abundance of ammo. The puzzles were on the easy side, but they weren't too easy. Occasionally, it felt as though I was doing something just for the sake of doing something, such as when I had to move the walkways and when I had to climb the ladder rung by rung, and those times felt superfluous and unnecessary to me. Also, some more item-based puzzles would be nice.
My biggest complaint is with the shooting sections, as the title implies. Like other reviewers have said, the spiders come out too far to the sides sometimes, which is difficult because of the marrow field of vision. Also, it bothered me that there was only one distance at which I could realistically shoot them, meaning that if I miss that one narrow opportunity, there's no redeeming it. Logically, I should be able to shoot them even when they're jumping. This becomes annoying when there are groups of three spiders and I've run out of machine gun ammo.
Perhaps there should be an option to skip the sections after a certain number of tries?
Other than that, I have no more criticisms. The atmosphere fit the story well.
The main problem I see with this is that I feel like it goes by way too quick, and not just that it's not finished. Each of the parts, I think, could be longer so that the builds up with more suspense.
The song builds up well, from the quiet intro to the drums coming in, to the guitar (or guitar-esque sounding instrument, it's hard to tell whether it's guitar or synth, which isn't a problem) and then the end.
But, on the topic of drums, I'm not so sure about the rhythm that you have. I can't put my finger on what exactly is bothering me about it, but it just doesn't seem like it fits with the feel and the rhythm of the melody(s). Maybe keep just the kick drum and add some cymbals? I don't know, I'm no drummer, but mess around with it.
However, I do like your melodies, especially the guitar (or guitar-esque sounding instrument) part.
[Review Request Club]
Ah damn... the fact that "it goes by way too quick" is a problem since in the meanwhile I extended the song (it's around 2:30-3:00 long now). Perhaps it feels "quick" because there's no space for a transition (yet).
Well, that "synth" is supposed to be the closest thing to an electric guitar. Unfortunately I don't know of a better way to create a pseudo-realistic e-guitar in FL studio, but hopefully it won't matter much to everyone else as well.
I didn't expect the drums to be bothersome, tbh. Hmm... I'll have to relisten to my song a bunch of times now... Perhaps it's the snare's fault (the one in the last part of the song)? My intension was to give the beat diversity in order to make it sound more dynamic and interesting to the listener: Beat repetitiveness is a bitch ^__^.
Anyway, thank you very much [insert_name_here] ^__^
I think the transition between the opening melody and the 'city music," as joshsouza described it, was a bit drastic. I recommending working that out a bit. I suggest either creating a bridge or changing the 'city music' to be more rhythmically similar to the other part.
Also, it seemed a bit repetitive. It's a calm piece, which is nice, but I think you should have made slight alterations to the two parts as the song progressed to build it up.
Thanks for your review!
I totally get where you're coming from. This one seemed to be a bit rushed compared to what I usually do, but I appreciate your feedback.
I love the bass riff that you use throughout the song. It's one of those riffs that almost seems offbeat, but it isn't. I also like how you took a break from that riff and then brought it back at the end of the song.
However, I feel as though there should be more than that one riff linking the end to the beginning. Because the song is so long, I would suggest taking one of your other riffs and making it a kind of chorus.
Also, I recommend arranging your riffs and melodies in a way that creates more of a feeling of suspense. And because of the length, I suggest adding an into (which kind of goes along with the building suspense suggestion).
i need to make a strait hardcore bass song and send it to you lol, i'll do the same offbeat bass style. i was going for light hearted, so i don't know about suspense, meh could work out good though. you are t=right about the song length lol, i can never get that right, i add to much. thanks for the helpful review buddy :)
Good pose and anatomy. It gives him a feeling of power and strength due to how grounded he looks, though having him leaning forward a bit more would give the impression of him putting more force into the stab.
I like the icy blue tones that you used, though I think adding a few more touches of the gold, green, and red accents you used, especially in the bottom left hand corner, would help strengthen the color scheme. I wouldn't overdo it because I think the drawing benefits from being mostly blues, but a few bits of the other colors mixed into the shadows would help make it more balanced. The steam/wind effects you added are a nice touch, also. They move across the drawing well, adding to an already strong composition.
My only other suggestion would be to sharpen up your edges. Right now it looks blurry, which I think takes away from it.
Thank you so much for the honest review, all those points are very good pieces of advice! I normally don't go back and edit work once I finish it, but this piece still bothers me for those same reasons you brought out so I think I will refine it a bit more and work out the kinks.
Thanks so much! :D
I do like the pose. Even though, as AZINYE said, it's not the most original pose in the world, I don't think it detracts much from the picture. It has a lot of motion to it, making Mario look lively. Though, I don't think his facial expression quite fits the mood of the pose. It's a bit too much of a relaxed expression for a position with so much attitude. You did a nice job with the foreshortening, and the anatomy of the post is all good. You did a good job mixing realism with Mario's own unrealistic anatomy.
I like the form of the smoke and how light it looks, though I think it would benefit from having some more gray tones mixed in. That would help give it a little more body, and it would help it fit in with the realistic style of the drawing. The lighting is spot on, except for that considering that the light source is on the stronger side, I think he should have a darker shadow on the ground.
I suggest adding some different tones to the shadows. It would bring in even more life.
This is kind of a tiny detail, but I like where you put your signature.
Thanks for watching dude, you're right with the shadows .. in terms of tones and textures he wanted to give a personal touch ..
I like the scribble style. I think it fits the mood of the drawing well, and also, it just looks cool. You picked a good color, too.
I love how there's so much motion. The position of the hand, the form of the fabric, and the flowers around the wrist all contribute to this. The fabric is light and flowing, and the fact that it looks torn helps add to the mood. How the entire drawing forms an arc across the page makes for a strong composition, which compensates for the lack of background. In fact, I think it was a wise choice to not add a background as it would have taken attention away from the main objects.
The anatomy is all good, except for the base of the thumb, which looks too round and bulgy. My own other criticism isn't really a criticism, but more of a suggestion, and that is that I think direct, angled lighting as opposed to the diffused lighting you have now would fit the drawing better.
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