This thread got me thinking. How many ways can I think of how to kill a man? So that's exactly what I'm going to do.
I'll edit this as I think of more
Currently, I can think of 204 ways to kill a man.
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1 - Beat him to death with a shovel
2 - Suffocate him with a vacuum hose
3 - Burn him at the stake
4 - Stick a firecracker up his ass and light it
5 - Drown him
6 - Slip anthrax into his soup
7 - Push him off a tall buiding
8 - Feed him to a tiger
9 - Stab him in the face with a steak knife.
10 - Inject air bubbles into his veins
11 - Gouge out his eyes and watch him die of shock
12 - Rip out his heart
13 - Starve him
14 - Bash him over the head with a baseball bat
15 - Inject raw sewage into his arteries
16 - Drop him from an air plane
17 - Bash his head through a computer monitor
18 - Bash him over the head with a wooden cross
19 - Shove a raccoon down his throat
20 - Tie him to a railroad track
21 - Kick him in the stomach until you cause him severe internal bleeding
22 - Snap his neck
23 - Inject him with mercury
24 - Suffocate him with a pillow
25 - Force him to stick a knife in a power outlet
26 - Drop kick him in the face several times
27 - Shoot him with a harpoon
28 - Run him over with a car
29 - Bash a computer monitor over his head
30 - Slip lead into his meals for a year.
31 - Inject him with eight times the normal dose of epinephrin.
32 - Lock him in an airtight tube and fill the tube with carbon monoxide.
33 - Overdose him on heroin.
34 - Acid shower
35 - Throw him into an oven
36 - Lock him in an airtight room and wait for him to die of carbon dioxide poisoning
37 - Throw him off a cliff
38 - Force him to eat his hands until he severs his carpel arteries.
39 - Tie him to the back seat of a car with something heavy strapped to the gas petal, set the car in the direction of a steep cliff, a large building, or Jay Leno's chin.
40 - Impale him with glass
41 - Stab a rusty nail into any part of his body, have him get tetanus, and watch him die.
42 - Have a raven eat his heart.
43 - Inject him with a lethal dose of morphine
44 - Make him eat broken glass
45 - Peel off his skin
46 - Sever his jugular vein
47 - Shoot him in the head
48 - Keep him in solitary isolation until he goes insane and kills himself
49 - Feed him to a shark
50 - Give him an enema with an industrial strength water pressure hose.
51 - Fry him on a large frying pan.
52 - Saw him in half with a chain saw.
53 - Feed him to a lion
54 - Overdose him on sleeping pills
55 - Push him into a vat of liquid nitrogen.
56 - Leave him out in the tundra naked and wait for him to die of hypothermia, gangrene, and/or frostbite.
57 - Push him off of a high platform onto a large metal spike. Several metal spikes also work and increase your chances of it actually happening.
58 - Drown him in his own urine.
59 - Drop him into a large pot of boiling water.
60 - Drop him into a volcano.
61 - Throw him into a whirlpool
62 - Leave him in the desert and wait for him to die of dehydration
63 - Feed him to wolves
64 - Feed him several large magnets and then proceed to give him an MRI.
65 - Decapitate him
66 - Hang him
67 - Tie his feet to one truck that's driving in one direction and his head to a truck that's driving in another direction.
68 - Shove a snake down his throat
69 - Shoot him in the head numerous times with a nail gun
70 - Drive a stake through his heart.
71 - Strap him to a bomb
72 - Put him on a plane and then crash the plane
73 - Bash him numerous times over the head with a mallet.
74 - Run him over with a bus
75 - Stab him in the throat with scissors.
76 - Shove his entire arm down his throat.
77 - Bash him over the head with a kayak paddle.
78 - Have him be sat on by an elephant.
79 - Shoot him in the head with a bow and arrow.
80 - Throw him over Niagara Falls
81 - Feed him to hungry Canadians
82 - Wrap a metal wire around his penis and then send a million volts of electricity throw the metal wire.
83 - Stab him in the throat with a pencil
84 - Trample him
85 - Shoot him with a missal
86 - Drop a nuke on him
87 - Crash a plane into him
88 - Destroy his immune system with radiation
89 - Feed him parasites
90 - Give him AIDS
91 - Rip out his lung
92 - Chop off his head with a guillotine.
93 - Death by firing squad.
94 - Fry him on the electric chair.
95 - Beat him with a chalkboard
96 - Infect him with the black plague.
97 - Duct tape over his mouth and his nose and wait for him to die of hypoxia.
98 - Put him in a locked, airtight room and fill the room with laughing gas. Wait for him to suffocate.
99 - Suffocate him with those plastic six pack holders, like ducks.
100 - Explode him with a grenade.
101 - make him step on a land mine
102 - Put him on a boat and crash the boat into an iceberg.
103 - Cane him until he bleeds to death
104 - Strangle him with your hands
105 - Step on his face
106 - Run him over with a crane
107 - Put him in the middle of a chemical explosion
108 - Chuck him at a high voltage power line
109 - Force him to eat uranium.
110 - Cover him in angry wasps.
111 - have him be bitten by poisonous snakes
112 - Have him be constricted by a boa constrictor
113 - Have him drink three gallons of petroleum oil.
114 - Freeze dry him
115 - Have him be trampled by cows
116 - Stone him
117 - Close his neck in a car door
118 - Give him a staph infection
119 - Run him over with a tank
120 - Shoot him with a cannon ball
121 - Shove a cassette tape down his throat
122 - Force him to eat 10 or more spoons.
123 - Put him inside a tire and roll him off a cliff.
124 - Beat him with a keyboard
125 - Strangle him with a guitar sting
126 - Drop a TV on him face
127 - Put him through a meat grinder
128 - Put his head in a wood chipper
129 - Beat him with a metal pipe
130 - Shove a phone down his throat
131 - Surgically remove his stomach
132 - Sew his mouth shut
133 - Cut off the top of his head with a butcher's knife
134 - Feed him to starving children in Africa
135 - Have him get raped by a horse
136 - Suffocate him in the rolls of a very fat man
137 - Kill his liver via alcohol poisoning
138 - Slit his throat with a broken beer bottle
139 - Run him over with a motorcycle.
140 - Infect his child with mad cow disease and feed his child to him.
141 - Run him over with a crane
142 - Drown him in a pool of chocolate
143 - Feed him to a giant squid
144 - Shove a calculator down his throat
145 - Beat him with an angry Mexican
146 - Feed him to hungry jail inmates
147 - Beat him with a guitar amp
148 - Have him sit in the sun for two years straight and then watch him die of melanoma.
149 - Give him a match and have him stand next to a large container of pure oxygen
150 - Surgically remove his brain
151 - Slice open his chest with a sword
152 - Beat him with a typewriter
153 - Strangle him with a very long watch
154 - Slit his throat with sharp diamonds. This is the classy was to go
155 - Put him in a room filled with chlorine gas
156 - Drown him in a vat of paint
157 - Run him over with a bulldozer
158 - Overdose him on meth
159 - Inject apple juice into his veins
160 - Beat him with a laptop
161 - Slit his throat with a broken light bulb
162 - Drop a refrigerator on his throat
163 - Crush his head in between two boulders
164 - Throw him into a burning building
165 - Shove a baby down his throat
166 - Throw him into a vat of poisonous spiders
167 - Crush him with a piano
168 - Drop an anvil on him
169 - Strangle him with an IV tube
170 - Beat him with a rake
171 - Crack his skull on the pavement
172 - Throw him into a boat propeller
174 - Push him out of a helicopter
175 - Tie him to the front of a train and have that train on a collision course with another train
176 - Feed him to rabbit dogs
177 - Shove several tin cans down his throat
178 - Beat him profusely with a history textbook
179 - Throw him into a vat of hot oil
180 - Feed him broccoli contaminated with ecoli
181 - Leave him on a cross to die, like Jesus
182 - Death by lethal injection
183 - Draw and quarter him
184 - Cut open his stomach and pull out his intestines
185 - Feed him tapeworm eggs
186 - Beat him with a tackle box
187 - Run him over with an RV
188 - Suffocate him in between the breasts of a very well endowed woman.
189 - Impale his heart with a tree branch
190 - Kill his family and beat him with their bones
191 - Crash into him with a helicopter
192 - Beat him with a wooden poll
193 - Strangle him with a silk scarf
194 - Strangle him with a mouse cord
195 - Beat him with a dictionary
196 - Bash his face through ice
197 - Give him syphilis
198 - Shove a tea pot down his throat.
199 - Chop him into pieces with an axe
200 - Beat him with a guitar
201 - Beat him with an XBox
202 - Inject him with antifreeze
203 - Drop a bowling ball on his neck
204 - Use him as fishing bait for large fish in the Atlantic Ocean
pink-bunny
Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
First, you must spread a thick layer of peanut butter onto the white part of a slice of bread. You can only spread the peanut butter on the white part, and the white part only. You may only spread peanut butter on one side. Spreading peanut butter on both sides will provide an inferior sandwich. Next, you must spread a thick layer of jelly onto the white part of a slice of bread. You can only spread the jelly on the white part, and the white part only. You may only spread jelly on one side. Spreading jelly on both sides will provide an inferior sandwich. You cannot spread jelly onto the same slice of bread onto which you have spread peanut butter. Also, you cannot spread peanut butter or jelly onto more than one slice of bread, as this will provide an undesired excess of either ingredient. Additionally, only peanut butter and jelly can be spread onto these slices of bread; no other ingredient will suffice, and no substitute can be used in a sandwich that is to be legitimately recognized as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Likewise, only bread may be the substance upon which the peanut butter and jelly are spread, as anything else does not fit the standards of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; if the peanut butter and jelly are spread onto a culinary medium that isn't bread, the meal at hand simply is not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Once you have accomplished spreading a thin layer of peanut butter onto the white of one side of one slice of bread, and likewise has been accomplished using grape jelly on a separate slice of bread, you must match the slices of bread up to each other, forming a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. In this scenario, the peanut butter-covered face of bread must be facing the jelly-covered face of the second slice of bread so that the peanut butter surface touched the surface of the jelly. The surface of the peanut butter is not allowed to touch a jelly-less substance of bread, resulting in the jelly facing outwards, and likewise applies to the jelly. If a substance is found facing on the outside of the sandwich, the product will not be accepted as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The side with peanut butter and the side with jelly on it must match up and stick together to form one solid sandwich. When the eater picks up the sandwich, he or she must hold both pieces of bread at the same time, or else one slice will fall off, and eating only one slice of bread will not be recognized as the same or even similar to eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Next, you must take a bite of the sandwich. This action will consist of moving the sandwich within such a close proximity of your face that a small "bite" of the sandwich will enter your mouth for you to mash up with your teeth. This bite must be a bite that includes both slices of bread, peanut butter and jelly. Make sure that all obstructions are clear from the mouth and esophagus, not including peanut butter, jelly or bread or any combination of said ingredients. If you have followed all previous steps, this goal will be easily accomplished. Not doing so will create an incorrect and inferior dining experience and thus will not be a peanut and butter sandwich that is being eaten. However, if one successfully gets both peanut butter and jelly in one bite that fits in the mouth and does not result in choking, the dining experience is thus far acceptable. For your complete experience with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to be considered complete and unobjectable, you must perform the previously mentioned series of taking bites of the sandwich, chewing them, and swallowing them repeatedly until the entire sandwich has been removed visible existence. These circumstances may only be reached by eating the entire sandwich, and no parts of the sandwich may be thrown away or given to somebody else. This is your sandwich, and your responsibility. For the Dining experience to be completed, the sandwich must be completely digested, but then my mom got scared, and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo holmes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.