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Age 29

Selling heroin

Massachudfjdklasj dfl

Joined on 7/18/06

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InsertFunnyUserName's News

Posted by InsertFunnyUserName - February 16th, 2008


My throat hurts and I'm blaming you.

It pisses me off to no end that I can't sing along to my music. D:

Now my entire upper body has decided to start hurting and I'm coughing up phlegm.

God, now my stomach hurts like hell. ;I


Posted by InsertFunnyUserName - February 14th, 2008


She was sitting in the corner of the room when I came in; trying desperately not to let me see her tight little cunt through the revealing cloths I had made her wear. With her tiny, low cut miniskirt barely covering her ass, and her breasts struggling to stay inside the short shirt, she was a vulnerable as could be. I walked over to her and she looked up at me, placing her hands over her crotch like a whore trying to hide a disease.

"Move your hands and spread your legs as wide as you can." I said calmly and without malice.

"I - I..." She hesitated and was cut off as I slapped her hard across the face.

"Rule one: you do what I say when I say it with no hesitation. Doing otherwise will get you punished. Now, spread you legs."

Reluctantly, she complied, exposing her pink pussy. As I ran my fingers over it slowly, she let out a whimper of humiliation and looked away.

"Come with me. We're going to the house of a friend who is... in need of assistance." I stood up and walked toward the doorway.

"L - Like this... I look like..."She stood up and looked down at herself.

"You look like the whore that you are." I mocked her. "Now, you either follow me willingly or I put you on a leash. It's your choice. Do you want to look like my willing whore, or my dog?"

"I'm both, ain't I?" She sneered sarcastically under her breath.

"That's one." I warned. "Get to three and you get whipped. You understand?"

"Yes Sir." She mumbled.

. . .

As we went, I made sure to plan the longest and most populated root I knew of. As we walked through the busy subway station, my little whore shrank inside herself as passers by stared at her. She had refused to willingly follow me dressed as she was, so I led her along on a leash like a disobedient animal. She glared desperately at two security officers that were stationed in the area, her eyes pleading with them, but they only laughed and made obscene hand gestures.

When we finally got on the subway car, she was disgusted to see that the train was as crowded as the station had been. She was the sole victim in a rain car of perverts.

I could see her desperately trying to pull her skirt back in place as the man next to her traced her vulnerable body up and down with his eyes.

"Masturbate." I told her sternly, the man next to us perked up just about as much as his member.

"What?!" She cried, but my standpoint was unchanging.

"I want you to pleasure that little cunt of yours for all these people to see." I was nowhere near conservative with the volume of my voice and my words were followed by the hollers and cheers of several fellow passengers.

"I can't do that!" She shrieked in utter fear, but I can't say that anyone around her - including my self - gave a shit.

"That's two."

"I..." was all she said before she slowly reached her hand down to her crotch. She hesitated only for a minute before running her fingers over her cunt.

"Are you waiting for an invitation?" I pushed her hand down on herself hard as it slipped in. "Don't make me hurt you here."

She slowly pleasured herself as the people around stared either lustfully or in disbelief. One man who seemed to know Amanda glared at me with contempt, but as his drive to do anything about it was non existent, he was no threat.

After she was finished, the train ride was long and uneventful, leaving her to dwell in her humiliation.

. . .

We got to the house after the trip that seemed to be about an hour. Her name was Clara and she was a friend of mine whose subbie John was away on a two week trip to a conference for work in California. Clara was impatient and not the kind to be quite about her needs.

I knocked twice on the door as Amanda, who had seemed to shrink at least two feet since we left my house an hour ago, stood silently with her head down and her hands over the wetness on her skirt.

Clara opened the door and looked at Amanda, who looked back up in shock. Amanda was a homophobic cunt who never wanted anything to do with homosexual relations and she wasn't about to be okay to be in that situation with a woman.

"Well, aren't you cute?" Clara laughed. She was a tall woman with a well build, curvy frame and long dark brown hair. She touched Amanda's cheek, who backed away instantly.

"What's she at?" Clara asked.

"Two." I answered.

"I would imagine. Nevertheless, we'll fix that." She grabbed Amanda's face, this time not letting her back away. "Regardless of whether or not you want this, you have no choice." Clara smiled and then slapped Amanda across the face hard enough so that it forced her to her hands and knees.

"Get back down." I ordered as Amanda stood up.

"No!" Her voice shook with contempt.

"I think that's three, Luke." Clara said sternly.

I closed the door behind me as I followed Clara, dragging Amanda along. We went downstairs to the basement where there was no chance of that little coward running away. Luckily for us, Clara lived in the middle of fucking nowhere where no one could here Amanda scream, which she was doing quite well at for such a small little person.

At the bottom of the stairs, Clara turned around and punched Amanda in the face as hard as she could. "Shut the hell up."

Amanda fell to the floor only long enough for me to grab her by her hair and force her to bend over a chair. Clara tied her arms to the armrests of the chair and took off her skirt.

"Please don't hurt me!" She cried, but with no avail.

"You were given clear warnings, but you disobeyed nevertheless. You have to understand that I can't have that." I stated solemnly.

Clara pulled out a chain from a drawer. She was never one for buying what she could make for free. Raising her arm high above her head, Clara brought the chain down hard on Amanda's bare ass, causing her to scream in pain. She continued to whip Amanda, each blow harder than the last.

"Please stop! Please..." She whimpered as tears ran down her face.

After whipping her around ten more times, Clara stopped and untied Amanda from the chair. She collapsed on the floor, shaking from the pain.

"Put on your cloths, go upstairs, and wait in the upstairs bedroom. You do nothing without my knowledge and approval, understand?" Clara instructed.

"Yes ma'am."

"Second, you call me Mistress and nothing else."

"Yes Mistress."

"Thirdly, you don't not by any means refer to yourself in the first person. You're not worthy of that. You understand?"

"Yes Mistress."

"Good. You'll be staying with me tonight."


Posted by InsertFunnyUserName - January 15th, 2008


THERE'S... THERE'S SOMETHING EVIL INSIDE MY VAGINA.

On a side note, LOL I'M IN THE TTA.

CLICK IT CLICK IT CLICK IT
Want porn?

Hey, my school district is $900,000 in debt.

I cut my thumb open today and it bled for an hour.

Lol, 8000 posts.

NEW FLASH.


Posted by InsertFunnyUserName - January 11th, 2008


Elated. :D

My guitar is awesome. It's purple. ^______^

Unrelated: CLICK IT


Posted by InsertFunnyUserName - January 7th, 2008


I watched her pass for the millionth time as she walked by my house on her way home from her night shift at work. The dim streetlights flickered against her beautiful blonde hair as she stared down at her feet.

Her name was Amanda and she was the daughter of the old neighbor I had when I was still living back in Michigan. She never knew me, but I'd watched her every day of the 30 years I'd known her. She moved here about six months ago and has had the same owl-like schedule ever since. She left for work at seven, worked until two, and then calmly walked home in the dark like nothing could ever hurt her.

This was what angered me most about her. She was so dignified, so proper, and so prideful. Yet, she'd never be caught showing an inch of skin, other than her arms and face of course. Obviously, she was modest, but loud and outgoing at the same time.

After I was sure she was out of earshot, I quietly opened my door and crept along the shady grass like a cat. I wasn't nervous, or fearful, or even suspicious at all of what she'd do. I was curious and dead set on what I had in mind. Hell, I'm half insane, but I don't give a shit.

She stopped. Now, this was peculiar for she was nowhere near home and she'd walked this rout a million times. As she jolted to the right and ran down an alleyway, I concluded that she knew something was up. She is not a stupid girl, however, she is ignorant. She'd been trying to lose me in the maze of backstreets, but what she didn't know is that I'd been living in this very city for 20 years now.

I walked down the same alley, but took a left where she had taken a right. Strolling happily and whistling to myself, I made my way along my straight path as she bolted her way parallel to me through her twisted one.

Finally reaching the end of the maze, she thought she was in the clear. She faced a wall and leaned against it to catch her breath.

I crept up silently behind her and watched her perfect chest contract and expand with exhaustion. Making my final decision, I put one had on the small of her back and the other on her shoulder and as she was going to turn around, I pushed her into the wall hard enough so that she was paralyzed there.

"You. You're that stalker that's always watching me. I've been wondering when you'd actually approach me." She smiled, but I merely laughed at her half-assed attempt to deter me. I turned her face towards me so that she could see the face of her attacker. I ran my tongue across her chin and mouth and then down to her neck.

"You're disgusting." She hissed, but I ignored her and began to reach my other hand down the front of her pants.

"Stop it!" She shrieked and tried to pull my hand away, but I merely brushed her off and continued.

She was closely shaven and beautifully smooth. Even against her struggling I could feel that she was almost as tight as a virgin.

"Get the hell away!" She cried, but I pushed her into the wall again.

"You shouldn't have taken it for granted that I gave you the freedom of your hands." I whispered solemnly as I grabbed her arms and bound her wrists painfully tight.

Even though she cringed in pain, that strange smile had yet to leave her face. "What are you, some kind of masochist?" I was irritated, but still calm and amused.

"What are you, some kind of idiot?" She sneered and stared at the ground as if waiting to get hit for doing so. I stepped on her back and pushed her to the ground so that pretty little face of hers was lying in the dirt.

I then moved so that I was kneeling over her with my hand pushing her head down. She made some noises of disapproval as I undid and tore off her shirt and bra, but there was nothing else she could do to stop me. I slowly took off her pants and then (smiling) the thong she was wearing.

"Go the fuck away you disgusting pervert!" I she whimpered.

I knelt on her legs so that she couldn't kick me. "No." I laughed as I smacked her ass as hard as I could. I knew she could feel my erection against her thighs as I heard her gasp in pain.

I flipped her over and caressed her soft breasts with my hands. "This should be fun." I smiled lustfully as I undid my pants and took up her waste. I slid inside her and moaned loudly as she was as tight as I originally thought.

As I pleasured myself with the body that was now too preoccupied with preventing the shame of an orgasm, I drug my nails into her sides so that she squealed softly. Finally as her body overwhelmed her better self, she began to moan, but I couldn't have that. I struck her hard across the face until she silenced herself and then continued with her until I came.

Then, taking her by her long hair, I forced her back onto her knees and stood in front of her. For the first time, she looked up and looked me in the eyes, as if waiting for my command.

"Well, well. Is my little pet in submission?" I smiled. Embarrassed, she closed her eyes, but I took her face in my hand. "Well?"

"Y - yes. Yes sir." She opened her eyes and looked at me again as the humiliation caused her nipples to go erect.

"Good." I untied her wrists, which were now cut and bleeding from the tight bindings, and retied the rope just as tight around her neck. "Now put your cloths on stay quiet. You're going to be my little pet from now on."


Posted by InsertFunnyUserName - December 29th, 2007


I opened my eyes slowly as I regained consciousness. The last thing I remember was getting into a car and asking for the pub, but obviously that wasn't where I was. It was dark, empty, and in the middle of fucking nowhere.

After a few minutes, I managed to get my still half asleep body into a standing position. God damn, my head hurt like hell and it didn't help either that I had no idea how to get home.

As I started to walk away, I felt a horrible, searing pain in my back that buckled my legs. I fell to my knees and turned around to see a man walking out of the shadows.

Moving away from him, I backed up into the yellowish glow of the dim, blinking security light of what must have been the back of on old warehouse. As he followed me, his figure was illuminated so I could see that he was laughing and that his shaggy black hair fell on his relaxed shoulders. For some reason, the fact that he was mocking my misfortune somehow turned me on a little; however, this was not the time to worry about such trivial things.

He followed me to the extent that there was nowhere left to go but into to the wall. As he came closer, I attempted to strike him, but he caught my wrist and twisted my arm back. He tied my hands behind and when I tried to run away, he grabbed me by the arm and hit me hard in the face.

"What the hell do you want with me?" I hissed as he looked up from my half-open shirt. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Why, I'm doing you a favor." He laughed as he hit me again and forced me onto my knees with one hand on my shoulder and the other on my waist.

"Get you hands off - "I started, but he struck me again. I fell, but he grabbed me by my hair and hit me until blood was running down my face. "Please... please stop..." I begged.

He looked down at me and laughed. "No."

He pushed me into the wall where I struggled as hard as I could, but he just hit me once again and held me tighter. "I have a gun. Either you obey me, or I kill you." He took out his gun and held it to my head. "What will it be?"

"I - "Because I paused, he purposely shot of the gun so it grazed my head. "I - I will. I'll obey you, sir." I sobbed.

"Good. Now," He untied my hands. "Strip."

I did as I was told and slowly removed my shirt and pants. "Faster!" He barked as he lashed me hard with a chain. I removed the remainder of my cloths and held my hands over my crotch and chest. "Now turn around and put your arms by your side." He said as he lashed me again. I did as I was told, turned around, and then at the point of being hit again, I put my arms down.

His dirty eyes ran up and down my body like a child that just received a new toy. He walked behind me, grabbed my head by my hair and forced me to bend over. Standing over me, he lashed the chain down hard on my back so that the little crimson beads of blood emerged from the long lacerations. I screamed at the pain and because of this, he lashed me even harder and barked "Shut up!" The lashings continued until I fell to the ground and began to silently cry.

Laughing sadistically, he turned me onto my back and kneeled over me. The harsh asphalt scratched against my already unbearable wounds.

As he held my shoulders down, my nipples went erect as I began to become extremely aroused.

I cringed as he stroked my breasts with his cold fingers. He slipped his other hand in between my thighs and pushed his fingers inside of me. Moving his fingers in a crawling motion, he watched my face as I started to orgasm. All I could think of was the shame of finding pleasure in my own humiliation, yet this just added to my arousal.

He took off his cloths and stroked his penis above me so that the salty cum fell onto my face. I whimpered softly as he held my head down and began to urinate on me.

"Stop your whining." He slammed my head into the ground. "You want this, you disgusting little whore." He ran his fingers over my still erect nipples and my wet vagina to remind me how aroused I was.

With that, he ordered me to stand up with my arms out. In fear of the consequences of doing otherwise, I obeyed and stood up straight. He pulled off a piece of barbed wire from a near by fence and stood behind me. I was horrified as he struck me with it. It was the most painful thing anyone had ever done to me and with ever strike, I screamed in agony. However, this only fueled his sadistic desire and he hit me harder every time.

Seeing his opportunity to truly put my in living hell, he took the barbed wire and scratched it down my back as hard as he physically could.

I gave one last scream before passing out in a pool of my own blood. This was the last thing I remember before waking up the hospital the next day.


Posted by InsertFunnyUserName - December 29th, 2007


On a scale of one to ten, how fun do you think it would be to choke/sufficate someone with oxygen?


Posted by InsertFunnyUserName - December 25th, 2007


The Transformers game for PS2

Guitar Hero III for computer

A trench coat. No joke.

Assorted cloths

A "Democrat" sign.

A book of funny signs from around the world

A stuffed snake

A couple other various things.

:D


Posted by InsertFunnyUserName - December 24th, 2007


Happy Jesus day.

:D


Posted by InsertFunnyUserName - December 23rd, 2007


I fucking love barbed wire.